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Here are some of the things she says:

Have you barfed yet today? Get thee to a drain of some kind before watching this video the pervs over at NBC have put together in order to show their appreciation for Olympic bodies of the 2012 London Games.

Speak for yourself, Lilith.

Unfortunately, to NBC, showcasing the “Bodies in Motion” of the XXX Olympiad means taking footage of conventionally attractive female athletes competing in sports that require them to be scantily clad, slowing it way down as the camera lovingly caresses their butts, breasts, and bouncing ponytails, and playing some soft core porn music over it.

I highlighted the key phrase. Apparently this unmoist cyborg’s main objection is that NBC didn’t do a slo-mo of a John Belushi doppelganger with chin hairs grunting under a barbell like she’s trying to void the products of an ill spent night at London Taco Bell. Sorry, life doesn’t work that way, no matter how tightly you purse your lonely lips. People like to watch toned bodies in motion, in slo-mo, unless it’s that fat guy taking a cannonball to the gut.

I guess I’m not plugged in to the hip, with it language of the youths nowadays or on board with the notion that Olympic bodies are at their most noteworthy when they’re female, (mostly) white, stereotypically feminine, and thin.

Oh, and yes, racism. (Pssst. You’re just wasting your time typing that. That charge is simply stipulated whenever a progtard opens their yaphole, even when you’re just ordering chicken sandwiches.)

But what’s the point of slowed down shots of beponytailed runners jumping up and down and blowing kisses to the crowd?

What’s the point of beauty? Art? Joy? Sex? Your LIFE?

(what’s the point) Of tennis players’ asses as they just stand there waiting for a serve or beach volleyball players as they encouragingly smack each other on the rear?

What’s the point? Asses.

What’s with the bizarre fixation on the female ass as it clears the high bar?

What’s with the bizarre fixation of jumping over a high bar?

Where are the women’s boxing highlight reels? What about women’s weight lifting? What about any sport that doesn’t bare midriffs, décolletage, ass cheek bottoms? Was the network having a contest to see which video producer could patch together the most embarrassingly juvenile highlight reel?

I’ll make a slo-mo of gender ambiguous blobs blowing snot rockets. Will that even things up for ya, Sunshine?

And seeing a TV network treating world-class athletes as little more than tributes to boners is incredibly dismaying.

Uh huh. And every time I flip over to the Olympics I have a slo-mo of a Kenyan coming straight at me with what looks like a couple of squirrels fighting over a filbert in his nylon shorts. Do you see me writing shrill screeds about that?

HERE’S THE DISGUSTING VIDEO